35

Today I enter the next phase of my life. No longer am I a part of the viable 19- to 34-year-old females demographic. I am now 35 years old. Which means I've entered the realm of "character actresses", mom jeans, and Costco shopping. My husband turned 40 today. He thinks he's older than I am, but he's counting in regular years not gender years. A 35-year-old woman is like a 50-year-old man, so he's actually younger than I am. He's getting more and more sophisticated and worldly and I'm getting more and more invisible. But, whatever, time marches on and all that. Instead of thinking about the limitations of my age, I should take this time to reflect on what I've learned/experienced in my 35 years on this planet.

Learned:
35. Combining red wine and chocolate is a beautiful thing.
34. For better or for worse, there is life after high school. A lot of life.
33. Waiting for change is not the same as making change.
32. Smoking is not cool, it's actually really disgusting.
31. Always use a primer when painting a room red.
30. There is such a thing as too much Tequila.
29. Leland was Bob.
28. Exercise gets better results when you actually do it instead of just talking about.
27. Lasagna is gross.
26. "Morning" sickness is misleading.
25. Dogs are waaaaaay better than cats.
24. Student loans may buy you an education and lots of great clothes and concert tix, but eventually they expect to be repaid.
23. Rollercoasters are not fun. They are terrifying and should be wiped from the face of the Earth.
22. I am not "driver" material. It's a passenger's life for me.
21. Mexican food is really, really good.
20. The principal from Pretty in Pink was right,"If you put out signals that you don't want to belong, people are going to make sure that you don't."

Experienced:
19. Sipped Chianti on the Ponte Vecchio.
18. Married the most wonderful man in the world. And still have no regrets.
17. Threw the dice at Craps tables in Vegas.
16. Made a human being.
15. Had the Spaghetti Puttanesca at Ciprianos. Twice.
14. Got the Hell out of Regina, Saskatchewan.
13. Sang Karaoke in St Johns, Newfoundland.
12. Drank Guinness in a pub (pubs) in Ireland.
11. Had (have) a very cool niece and got to meet her moments after she was born.
10. Swam in the shark-infested waters of Mexico. Shark infested in my mind, anyway.
9. Saw the Flaming Lips live--three times.
8. Witnessed my little brother's collar bone breaking in a hockey game. Gross.
7. Got really fat and spent a lot of time in the basement of my parents' home.
6. Got out of the basement and found my way on to a treadmill.
5. Shook Bill Clinton's hand.
4. Went back to school after 11 years of slogging it in the retail arena.
3. Developed a taste for sushi. Pretty impressive since I almost threw up the first time I tried it.
2. Drank waaaaay to much and fell off the dance floor a few times at my boss's wedding.
1. Turned 35.