Where and when would I go if I had a time machine? I'd certainly fancy a Dublin pub crawl with Oscar Wilde or a champagne-fuelled post-Oscar party with Humphrey Bogart, and I suppose it would be tempting to go and kick Hitler around the school yard when he was younger and less armed, but I think the first place I would go would just be any random day when I was younger. Like 17. Or 24. Man, what I could do with a nineteen-year-old me.
First of all, I'd tell myself to chill out and stop looking for the black cloud in every silver lining. Then I'd put on whatever 90s duds I was sporting back then--probably jean cutoffs, black tights, a black blazer and Doc Martens--and then I'd just enjoy the day being young. Being debt free. Not to mention being free of the mysterious back pains and painful hangovers that come with age. Not for ever, just for a day. Maybe two. Wouldn't it be fun to be young again? So much more fun than it was the first time, I'll bet.
I would stay out late, I would drink terrible Long Island Iced Teas, I would play my Morrissey records and smoke my Dunhill cigarettes, I would go to Scandals and dance on the speakers. I would find a way to convince the younger me to do more with her youth. To go backpacking through Europe. To not drop out of University. To not get a credit card. I would tell me not to work crappy retail jobs for 11 years before going back to school just so that I could acquire massive student debt and end up working a boring 9-to-5 office job that drains my soul a little more each day.
Oooh, scratch all that reliving my youth crap, I just realized that I could use the time machine to go back and buy a lottery ticket with the winning numbers. See you later suckers, I'm off to last week to strike it rich.
3 comments:
Is that the time machine from the original film version of "The Time Machine?" It looks like some child-mangling device Willy Wonka would have installed in his Chocolate Factory.
I too would love to tell my younger self to relax, grow my hair out and stop being such an utter dorkmeister. I doubt that I'll ever have the opportunity to have a kid, but if I did, I'd regale junior with so many stories of how unpopular I was that he'd think twice before joining drama or the poetry club over the football team.
Besides, if you can't be the one to introduce your offspring to Long Island Iced Teas, smoking and Morrissey records, what's the point of even having a kid?
That display pic is from Amelie?... if so i coincidentally purchased it yesterday. hahaha. if not: ignore me.
Actually, a funny thing just happened at my place: A guy turned up in this funny-looking capsule. He staggered out, blood pouring from his head and collapsed. When I tried to revive him he said "Tell president Gore the future is safe," and died.
I wonder what he meant?
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